October 24, 2006
by Enjy
Summary: Les Miserables reopens on Broadway...things go crazy. On hold for what will probably be forever.
1. Cosette and Eponine

On a perfectly normal day in New York- about a quarter mile away from where Les Misérables was showing for the first time on Broadway in 3 years- it was peaceful, and no rabid fans were in sight.

And suddenly, there was a scream that would've frightened someone who had been there…and a girl fell from the clear blue sky.

She straightened herself up, whining something about falling on her ankle, and then stopped. The girl opened her mouth and spoke again.

"Ankle," she said and gasped. That wasn't French! That was English. "Why can I suddenly speak English now?" She looked up at the sky, as if the answer could be found there.

Nothing. She tapped a delicate finger on her chin and sighed. "The answer _must _be that something very important has happened." And that much was true.

The only reason that this 19th century lady was here was because of the imagination of a very, very bored young authoress. The same said authoress just so happened to be sitting around as a storm raged through and noticed the thick book sitting on her desk. And that made her think of an oh-so-devious plot that she would type up out of boredom.

And then the young lady stopped tapping her chin, not because she her chin had become sore out of repetitive tapping, but because she had thought of something important, and the mysterious girl suddenly exclaimed, "My Marius!"

Then she looked up to the sky, as if the answer lay there. And it in fact did hold the answer to this question, and a little black speck in the sky began to grow larger and larger and larger.

The lady moved out of the way in time to avoid being squished by a gamine that had fallen from the clouds as well.

The girl, whom we may now introduce as Cosette, quickly helped the filthy girl up and looked at her. Cosette bit her lip and waited as the girl in front of her brushed herself off- not that it made a difference. After another moment of silence, Cosette cleared her throat softly.

"Ah, it's the Lark. Where's everyone else? They're late," the girl murmured, looking at her hand. "Where's 'Zelma? I thought I was with her. And I thought you'd be with your Marius."

Cosette tilted her head to the side and looked the gamine in the eye. "'Ponine?" she asked, a hint of surprise in her voice. "Eponine, is that you? Oh! Eponine, have you seen Marius?" Her little lips curved downward into a frown when Eponine replied with a "no".

"Didn't you hear the plans?" Eponine asked Cosette, skinny hands on her hips. Cosette shook her head and Eponine just sighed. "Oh well, maybe only a few of us got the memo." Cosette looked even more confused.

"'Ponine, what on Earth are you talking about?" She desperately asked, her head spinning. She walked onto the sidewalk and let out a deep sigh.

"Well, maybe the reason you didn't get it was because you're stuck with the other unwritten death people," Eponine mused, not seeming to notice Cosette anymore.

"Eponine!" Cosette snapped, getting the girl's attention. "Explain, please, what you mean!" Eponine walked over to where Cosette was on the sidewalk.

"We're divided into sections on how we died- see, I'm with the Romantic Death group, for those of us who die in our lover's arms and that fluffy stuff. You're probably in with the Unwritten Death people, the characters who never get a dramatic death scene," Eponine explained quickly. Cosette looked like she understood.

"Well," Cosette began, a little fascinated by this obscure system, "what other groups are there? Boring deaths? Bloody deaths? Peaceful deaths? Suicidal deaths?" She tried to think of more ways to pass on. "Oh, do tell!"

Eponine was about to launch into a long description of the death system when Cosette noticed another character falling. She lifted her hand to her mouth and was about to say something when---

_SMACK!_

Eponine and Cosette both turned around to see the form of a revolutionary lying face-down in the middle of the street.

---

Hoorah. You might've noticed that I merged Chap. 1 with 2 to make it more chapter like and longer and stuffs. Yup.


	2. Enjolras, Javert, and Marius, oh my!

Cosette and Eponine waited. The revolutionary jumped to his feet and crossed his arms and yelled, "Shoot me again!"

"Pardon," Eponine gasped at him, "but has anyone ever told you that you are angelically beautiful and have the face of a woman and the smile of youth on your cherry lips?" Then she paused. "Or was that 'Parnasse?" Eponine shrugged and looked at the newcomer. "Who are you?"

"I'm Enjolras," Enjolras stated rather proudly. Before he could strike a dramatic pose or something of that sort, Eponine interrupted him.

"Do you have a first name?" Enjolras seemed touchy about the matter, and simply glared one of those famous glares in her general direction. Eponine and Cosette shrunk a bit backwards.

"'Ponine, is he one of those suicidal ones? From those death groups you were telling me about?" Cosette asked, wringing her hands nervously in an attempt to keep her mind off of Marius.

"Nah," Eponine said, looking at him. "He's only semi-suicidal. See, he asked someone _else_ to shoot him." She looked up at the blonde revolutionary and frowned.

"Well, who would a normally suicidal person---," Cosette began, but was cut off by a far off yell that was growing nearer and nearer. It was coming from the sky. "Oh no…" she mumbled.

"By the looks of it, I'd say he's a true suicide death," Eponine said, looking at the dot that was growing larger and larger. "It'll hurt when he hits the street, that's for sure." The three characters had clumped together and had their heads tilted back to watch the scene.

And then that SMACK came again as the man collided with the pavement. Cosette winced. Eponine expected there to be another long silence, but to her surprise Enjolras yelled out, "Hey! You're Inspector Javert!" Sure enough, when the newest victim to the authoress's wrath lifted his head, it was Javert.

"I hate that," Javert sighed, earning a few odd looks from the group of Mizzies that had collected in New York by now. Enjolras gave him a weird stare and raised an eyebrow.

"Crazy," he muttered. Javert growled but Enjolras stopped him with a glare of doom.

Cosette was eying Javert and Enjolras when suddenly a sharp yell came from above them and she whipped around to see a man fall face-first into the street behind them. She gasped and ran over to the man quickly.

"Marius!" she gasped, "Marius, are you okay?" She lifted Marius's head and sighed in relief as he blinked up at her through his black locks.

"Cosette? Cosette, where are we?" he asked, and then screamed as he turned his head to see the _ghosts of the past. _"Oh, no! Oh, Enjolras, my friend's friend, can you ever forgive me? Give me a sign! Leave me, these horrible visions!"

Cosette sighed. " He's having barricade hallucinations again. Someone, help me over here, please."

Eponine ran over. "Get out of, Marius. Javert is the one on crack, not you."

Javert snarled. "They only mentioned it once!"

Eponine laughed. "Or did they?"

Cosette coughed loudly and Marius looked around. "No, seriously, where are we?"

"Ask Eponine, she seems to be all-knowing," Cosette said, relieved that Marius had snapped out of it and was excepting these odd terms.

"We're in New York City, and the date is October 24th, 2006. The temperature is---," Eponine began, but stopped when everyone was looking at her strangely. She pointed towards a flashing sign that was now reading "10/24/2006". She growled in frustration and yelled, "Why doesn't anyone ever believe me when I say I can read and write?"

This shut everyone up long enough for them to hear the voice of a little boy singing, gradually growing louder and louder…

"Je suis tombe' par terre, C'est la faute a' Voltaire…"


	3. Happy Shippers and Happy Fangirls

"Ooh, no…" Eponine mumbled.

Marius looked at her. "Eh?"

"That's my brother…"

"You mean he's your brother?" Marius asked, scratching his head.

"Yes…I told you when I was dying in your arms!" Eponine exclaimed. "Were you not listening?"

"Oh, that. I was thinking about Cosette." Marius said, looking at the clouds. "The fact that I rescued him and all that because I knew he was your father's son is completely irrelevant."

"That's all you ever think about! 'Cosette this! Cosette that!'" Eponine shrieked, stomping her bare feet on the pavement, and started to walk off.

"What? Where are you going?"

"I'm complicated!" She yelled back, and walked over to Enjolras. "I'm with Tacky-Vest-No-First-Name-Boy now!"

As soon as she said this she fell to the ground, covering her ears. All around, her time-traveling companions were doing the same as they heard the joyful screams of the EppiexEnjy shippers (and the angry screams of the EppiexMarius shippers). They all cowered on the ground for several minutes until the last of the ear-piercing shrieks had died away.

Enjolras stood up, brushed his vest off, and looked at the young girl who had caused the noise and scooted away, ever so slowly.

"Didn't we forget someone?" Cosette asked Marius. As if on cue, Gavroche popped out of nowhere in all of his dirty, I'm-Suddenly-Going-to-Appear-When-it-Suits-Me glory.

"I hate you, you know," Javert simply said, glaring at Gavroche.

"Yeah, I know." The gamin looked around. "And since when are you and smooth-face together?" he asked his sister, receiving no reply from her, as she was gazing up at the leader of the barricade boys and not listening.

Suddenly, a loud squeal filled the area and two girls with playbills and markers in their hands rushed up. "Oh my GAWD! Its them!" the girl on the left shrieked. "You looked so different on stage! Ooh, will you sign this! And then," she handed the other girl a camera, "can I get my picture will you?" she asked Enjolras quickly. She shoved the permanent marker into his hands with the playbill.

"Ma'am…" Enjolras stuttered, looking at the picture of Cosette which already had a large squiggle that he couldn't read covering her neck. He put the pen down and signed 'Enjolras', shaking the strange device as he held it, not used to it.

"OH MAH GAWD! THANK YOU!" she yelled in Caps Lock. "NOW GET MAH PICTURE! WILL YOU MARRY ME?" And the camera was shoved into Enjolras's face and he was blinded by a flash of light.

The fangirls didn't seem to notice that if they had been the actors and actresses, they wouldn't have been in costume. And that they wouldn't be in the middle of nowhere, NYC. But these are fangirls we're talking about.

"That…was an experience I never was to repeat. That means one thing," Enjolras announced.

Eponine looked up at him in respect. "What?"

"We need disguises."

* * *

Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.

Whoever can guess who's signature was already on the playbill wins the internet.


End file.
